Week 4: The Artist's Way

Week 4 is Recovering a Sense of Integrity. I think this is more about being honest with yourself and your emotions. Here is where the morning pages are truly designed to work. This is where you are supposed to be letting out the angst and anger of your life. And the good emotions. The morning pages are designed to help you find emotional balance.

For my weekly check in this week, I have to report a very rough week for morning pages. I STILL missed a day, although this was tied to perpetual insomnia, which always makes waking up early enough to write a challenge. And a few days, I only got one or two pages written. Julia Cameron says in this chapter that we often invert cause and effect, saying “I was too crabby to write them” instead of “I didn’t write them so I’m crabby.” (p. 80, The Artist’s Way). Not quite sure that’s true since I still don’t love writing them. But I do know the value of a good place to scream it out.

The challenge this week was No Reading. I tried. I REALLY tried to NOT read. And failed—horribly. Reading is my refuge (which Julia acknowledges is true of a lot of creative people). So when stress started pulling at me, I picked up a book. I may attempt to go without reading next week…unless the challenge is read three books. We’ll see. One of the exercises that she set for us this week is to write to yourself as if you were 80 years old. That was a useful exercise, as my future me gave my present me hope, which I’ve been lacking, and something to look forward to.

Significant issues for my artistic recovery this week…No artist date as crazy making worked it’s way in. Like I literally shut the door on one aspect of my life that was adding to my stress…only to have another door forced open. It happens, and I’ll deal. But I’m very glad The Boyfriend is only rarely a crazy maker, as having him in my corner as solid support is going to be REALLY important moving forward. Actually, I think I am going to get my artist date. I’m going for a long drive with some favorite music. Today.